Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I haven't said a lot of dumb things

I've said a lot of dumb and even some offensive things because sometimes my brain pops the clutch while my mouth is still in gear.

These some of the things I didn't say. [No, I'm not just scraping the bottom of the barrel desperately trying to put together something to throw up on the Internet and have a technically live blog.]

Why's that Jewish guy playing a Dick Dale song?
    A friend's band was playing Misirlou at a coffee bar one evening. Apparently things can have a life I know nothing about.

Well, what did you think was going to happen?
    There any number of contexts for that comment, but several of them involve a friend long deceased. Also, bear in mind I don't really have a moral high ground here, because 16-25 year-old males rarely have the moral high ground when it comes to making breathtakingly stupid decisions.

I don't see anything at all, all I see is a dot.
    After waiting in line for about 45 minutes to look through a portable telescope generously supplied by a volunteer at Vanier Park so people could see the planet Neptune due to a favourable alignment of planets and lack of clouds over Vancouver (it happens). The dot was the planet. It was kind of like when you finally got that toy you'd been hoping an wishing for only to find out it's not really like the advertisements at all.

What smells?
    There any number of contexts for that comment. And then there was that time I accused one person of not using deodorant, when, in fact, it was a totally different person. No, I'm not naming names to protect them, I just don't want it coming up again the next time we meet, I'm hoping everybody else involved forgot about the whole incident already.

One of the things I did say: Congratulations.
    It was the day after I met a coworker's girlfriend, and I thought she was pregnant. She wasn't.

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