I finally read all the going away cards. To which you are probably saying: Uh, what took so long? Did you need help with the big words? Were you afraid of paper cuts? I couldn't read them before this because there was no way I could have read them and maintained, um, my hydrostatic integrity, I mean, fluid control (ew, that's worse), no, I mean, uh, salinic equilibrium. Fine! Okay! I COULDN'T READ THE GOING AWAY CARDS WITHOUT CRYING BEFORE THIS!!! Are you happy now?
If you handed me a card and it looked like I read it, I didn't really, because I couldn't at the time. I'm sorry I lied to you, but otherwise I would have been a blubbering mass of incontinence, sorry, I mean just blubbering mass.
Thank you all, whether you wrote cards or not, for your kind words and wishes.