Monday, January 15, 2007

You Don't Want to Miss on This Deal!


If this journalism thing doesn't work out, I have another idea: Get Your Lazy Butt Up Off the Couch Exercise Program (GYLBUOCEP). Rather than pointlessly lifting weights or running on a treadmill like a rat, in my program you come to my house and vacuum, do the laundry or shovel the snow off my sidewalk. (Julie, would you mind setting up the accounting for this? I'll pay you in company shares!) For all this you only have to pay me $200 per month for a 10 year membership* in advance. If you do a lousy job, I'll make you do push ups.

This also leads to a completely unrelated business idea: My Spouse Won't Get Up Off the Couch and Vacuum, Do the Laundry or Shovel the Sidewalk Personal Service (MSWGUOCVDLSSPS). (Julie, would you mind setting up the accounting for this? I'll pay you in company shares!)

There are franchise opportunities available too!

*Membership is not refundable, transferable, rebate-able or debatable. Membership terms may be for less than ten years if you piss me off. No, I will not give you your money back. Terms of membership will change any time I feel like it. If you have a heart attack, stroke or fall off a ladder, it's not my fault. Must be bondable.
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