If this journalism thing doesn't work out, I have another idea: Get Your Lazy Butt Up Off the Couch Exercise Program (GYLBUOCEP). Rather than pointlessly lifting weights or running on a treadmill like a rat, in my program you come to my house and vacuum, do the laundry or shovel the snow off my sidewalk. (Julie, would you mind setting up the accounting for this? I'll pay you in company shares!) For all this you only have to pay me $200 per month for a 10 year membership* in advance. If you do a lousy job, I'll make you do push ups.
This also leads to a completely unrelated business idea: My Spouse Won't Get Up Off the Couch and Vacuum, Do the Laundry or Shovel the Sidewalk Personal Service (MSWGUOCVDLSSPS). (Julie, would you mind setting up the accounting for this? I'll pay you in company shares!)
There are franchise opportunities available too!
*Membership is not refundable, transferable, rebate-able or debatable. Membership terms may be for less than ten years if you piss me off. No, I will not give you your money back. Terms of membership will change any time I feel like it. If you have a heart attack, stroke or fall off a ladder, it's not my fault. Must be bondable.
3 comments:
For three dollars a day you can have a free advertisment, for 20 years. The three dollars a day must be paid in advance. If such advertisment appears blurred or un-coherent, you are either drunk, driving to fast or both. In which cause you should make like Otis, and go to the nearest Police station whistling the Andy Griffith Show theme song, and lock yourself in the nearest unoccupied cell. If Aunt B. does not show up you chose the wrong police station and you will not be able to get that wonderful homemade meal.
No, I will NOT set up the accounting for that...there might be taxable services involved, or it might be a conflict of interest or I might just be "Too Lazy To Get Off The Couch And Do Your Accounting For You" (patent pending)
heya tony.......too funny.....btw....I should set up my own service too......FUWLS....fixing up whirlwind living spaces.....like my living room full of bits of paper of every imaginable size and all my hobby tools and books.and more books and...and.....80))....btw...how ya doing??
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